Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Morning Pill #5 it is SO over

i wish to have the ability to orate long strings of utter profanity.
i dont think im really angry. anger would be a luxury. i dont think im happy as well. no.
its all calloused now. unfeeling.
i am the gray color.
i think i fried my organ for feeling as a survival mechanism. because THAT was too traumatic if i let that one in.
the trick ? Lie. Lie to yourself.
Because when i saw her, it beat. and i had to crush that which beats.
make it still.
it doesnt beat anymore.
i am smile.