And she said "Hey..."

have you ever tried waiting for something to happen so badly? have you ever tried waiting on someone? you wait for it to happen so much that its impossible for it to not happen. and then it does not happen. in your heart's eye you see it happening. you see yourself with that person being totally happy. and in your heart's eye it remains.

thats alice.

she has the tranquil dawn for her voice. the sun's golden rays for her laughter. the romantic sunset for her eyes. the moonbeam for her hair. and my heart around her finger.

lostinwaiting i waited for her. lostinwaiting

when youre in love, you feel like you dont grow old. you feel as if the world is standing perfectly still. like a perfect picture in time. so perfect. you think you can do anything. but of course you cant.

for someone who was never shown love, how can he know it. he cannot know it. and the only for him to know what love is...is to love and hope to be loved.

when you like someone, you tell her. and if you like her so much, that person will like you back. of course. thats the way love goes.

no. of course not.

silly me. silly silly me...

In the Company of Monkeys

i think i read it somewhere that accountability is a matter of integrity. back in college, i remember a story by one of our teacher. it went something like this.

***

there were two gardeners who were charged to build a garden fence on different pots. the owners of the gardens specifically told them that they wanted the kind of fences that their plants could climb and wrap around to. the first gardener set-up substandard wood as the spine of the fence while the second gardener used the top of the line wood. so the first gardener came up to the second and asked him "you dont really need those pricy wood right? and dont even bother building it correctly. its going to be covered with the plant anyway. no is going to notice that you didnt do it properly." to this the first gardener said "but i will know."

***

accountability in the workplace is so superficial today. integrity is nonexistent. learn to cover your ass and plug your ears.

No One Is Black & White (Not even you)

there comes a time in every man's life when he finds out that what he has done, what he has achieved, what he has been working at, in the eyes of another person, is mediocre. it is very hard to look at an accomplishment and see the value of the hard work behind it. it is very hard for someone to appraise the value of work when it is not his.

it became distinctly clear to me that my "boss" thinks i am an idiot. incapable of sensible thought. it became distinctly clear that my "superior" was mistaken. i could have gotten into the room with a sense of utter academic accomplishment embeleshing out philosophical bruhahas right and left. [however, before anything else, i feel compelled to say that the feeling is mutual.] instead, i came into the room coming across as this idiot when i walked dragging my feet. i came into the room coming off with an iq of a carrot stick when i talked like a seven year old asking mundane questions. maybe it was because i have already been those things. i already tried walking around tall and proper talking like an adult talking about politics . i found it boring.

in the workplace, its about power and control. he who controls, enjoys. he who has power can control. the workplace is one big battleground for power, really. and added to that, the people who are in control and in power, everything is built around them. culture. values. reality. when you work for someone, reality is subject to that person. because no matter how smart or saintly or humorous you are, these things will have to be calibrated against your boss' view for such things. you have your boss and then there is the reality of the workplace built around that person's perception.

>>professionalism means having to set yourself against the standard of your superior.<<

does my frustration bring you joy? how pleasant. Ü