Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Only Way To Live

i do not want to envy.
but how come your stones are shinier than my silver?

i do not want to hate.
but how come everyone loves you more than they like me?

i am not insecure.
but why is your hair so much better than mine?

i do not want to complain.
but why does it seem like i have it worse than others?

i want for the world to stop. for time to halt. for lives to pause. so that i may point out my mistakes to myself and fix them. so that when the world begins anew, no one will have noticed me fixing myself. and when
they see me, i am fixed. imperfect, but fixed.

but it doesnt stop, doesnt it?
and when you try to fix yourself without the world noticing,
you miss a few spots.
your tucked shirt may seem perfect up front, but its haphazard from the back.
your shoes may be shiny but
your socks do not match your belt.
your collar may be crisply folded, but your sleeves are lousy.
your hair may look perfect, but only when its damp.

and in the end, you are half-fixed.
you are still damaged. you will still need mending.