Monday, January 30, 2006

Morning Pill #8

UPSIDE DOWN by Mind To Crack
I've been spending some time
thinking of you at night
don't know if I can really make it tonight,
lie awake in the dark,
come down then I start,
thinking about you is almost breaking my heart.
I don't know where I went wrong, or what's going on,
baby, I feel like a lover tonight
should I stay, should I go?
well, I really don't know.
lately I've been missing you so.

Baby, you don't understand our love lies lost
but you're still holding my hand.
Oh and then you walk away,
Just as I, I wanted to say

You're turning me on,
you turn me around,
you turn me whole world upside down.
(repeat 2nd stanza of chorus)

Everytime I hurt you, well it's hurting me too.
Don't know if I could really stay here tonight.
Tired of thinking of you,
And everything that you do
tell me what am I supposed to do.
Well, I just wanted to say that I need you today.
Tell me it's all gonna work out alright.
I don't know where I should I start,
but with all of my heart
baby let me be your lover tonight.
i cant tell you if its going to work out fine and dandy because i dont know.
but if youre there, im there. and i'd rather face those uphill climbs with you than alone.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Side Effect

Don't think that the Universe has picked you from the multitude to pick on you.
no, because that would be redundant.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Dialogue with the Emperor of Rhetoric

when does suggestion become coercion? when does it become forced? what draws the line between? only the emperor knows. this is one of those journeys that is laced with regret. it is one of those itches that give excruciating pain when scratched. in my quest for answers i had come into the penultimate misfortune of having the answers handed to me from the emperor himself.
i met the emperor sitting on his chariot being dragged grudgingly by a slave race known as Hisego. apparently, the emperor employs Hisegos all throughout his kingdom. but what surprised me the most was the small choir of Hisegos trailing behind the chariot belting out praise and adulation to the emperor. the emperor, sporting a frown turned to the choir and silenced them with a wave from his hand. i think one of the female collapsed from this unexpected attention now, it was my turn to be nervous as the emperor beckoned me to him while rising up from his chair. still with a stern look pointed to a room with the doors open into one of his chambers . i followed the emperor to a room with a table and two chairs opposite each other. these chairs had those tall backs with ornate carvings of people bent in weird places. i seated myself on one chair being pointed by one of his servants. i didn't notice this before but i think the emperor's chair did not have four legs to support it but had a Hisego on all fours to raise it.
at this point, i recorded the entire conversation with utmost care for the emperor's words that i wrote them down exactly as he spoke them.
emperor: "my advisers tell me that you have questions you mean to ask me."
author: "ah yes. yes i do. i have come long and far from the island beyond and i apologise for looking a bit disheveled from the travel as i have been awake all night long.
emperor: "it does not suprise me. with your youth, i know you must have wasted the night with this horrible horrible youth acts. youth." he paused and grunted. "i ask first writer, when you do those things that the young do at night... do you learn anything from it? why do it? i cannot for my wisdom think why."
author: "exactly why we do it...exactly...i do not know. its one of the unknown i have yet to find. like it is that they say..."
emperor: "youth is wasted on the young?"

Morning Pill # 7

\Walk Away\
i move with the sound
of the stringed;
of the warmth
of the strings
I sway with the tone
of the bass;
of the taut
of your embrace
I fall with the tones
of the keyed;
of the black and the white
of the ivory flight.

Monday, January 23, 2006

My Old Friend For A Visit

i should be angry at her.
i shouldn't be able to tolerate thinking about her or feel her. But see, that's the thing about loving someone so purely. true, i do feel the anger, the hurt, the pain, but there is always the love that accompanies it. it's there. it reminds me and tellms that all these will pass and all that will be left will be the love. it tells me to hang on a little bit longer. just a little bit longer. there are no words coming right now. just pain and confusion. my old friend.

Morning Pill #6

>> the foolish trader <<
what i would exchange for a touch?
for a smile, i would trade my frowns.
for a peal of laughter, i would cry in secret.
and holding her, i would give...alas
but she does not let her hold me
and if her time is more precious than gold.
i would give my diamonds.
and for her heart, well
her heart i would my soul.

The First Day

it was the end of my first day off of the year and it was becoming relentlessly apparent to me that i was missing her. somehow not being able to show up on the first day was going to be a problem, more so for me had i known earlier. we had agreed to meet up somewhere to do something but i had misjudged how exhausted i was. in fact, i was too exhausted to tell her i wouldn't be able to show. of course, i apologized as soon as i could. i thought that was already water under the bridge but my naivete with relationships had one up its sleeve. our last communication was over the phone. mostly i apologized. and tried to schedule when we can be together. but what strick the most was the part when she asked what we were going to do. "Would it be the same? Don't you think its getting... kinda boring?"
and now, my electronic friend i have to say, i am at a loss. how do you keep someone's interest? how do you cope with losing your partner's interest? i think that the start of relationship is founded on on being interested. because if you are not interested, why bother? if relationships are then founded on interest, what happens when someone loses interest? does it spell the death of the relationship? in the end, are people in relationships burdened with the task of juggling knives and breathing fire to keep the audience of one interested? No, it doesnt have to be huge explosions or break-neck adventures. Sometimes, routine can be comforting. because isnt everyday spontaneity routinely? but it does make you think doesnt it...?